Condoms are GREAT! They serve as a physical barrier to potential exposure and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as a physical dam that would prevent any of your fearless swimmers from setting forth on their journey in hopes ultimately diving headlong into the egg. At the same time, I also humbly suggest that condoms serve as an emotional barrier. After all, taking that big step with your significant other and deciding not to use condoms represents a very high level of trust. And trust is inherently bred from an extremely strong emotional connection to your partner.
So, every time a buddy of mine tells me he had a one night stand and decided not to use a condom, my mind is blown. Seriously?! You just met this chick, don’t know her from Eve, and you are gonna throw it in there raw dog?! I understand how my buddy got there (ending up bare back with a woman they barely know) in so far as for guys there is a massive difference in feel between condom or not. When I ask a dude why he had acondom-less one-nighter, generally the response is, “It just feels so good without a condom, bro.” Yeah, I know it does. But you know what else feels so good? Living STD free without a bunch of unplanned little kids running around calling you daddy.
I really don’t trust any woman who comes home with me on night one (I see the irony, and potential hypocrisy in that statement). But seriously… if a woman comes home with me on night one, you can safely assume it isn’t her first time doing this sort of thing (despite her protesting, “I never do this kind of thing”. Um, yeah, sure you don’t). Furthermore, I really don’t trust a woman who comes home with me night one and says she wants to do the dirty without a condom (and yes, that has and does happen). Yeah, that’s not for me. And it shouldn’t be for my buddies.
Condoms provide peace of mind. The only time that that peace of mind can exist sans condom is when you trust the woman you are with. If I have sex with you without a condom, I am making a statement that says, I trust you with my sexual health and with my family planning. After all, there is no pill for men, and that fancy form of contraception known as “pulling out” isn’t always fail proof.
This is all to say that I really see a connection between condoms and emotion. Now, this isn’t to say that couples who continue to use condoms throughout their relationship do not have a strong emotional bond. For them, it’s just the chosen form of contraception (especially if a woman doesn’t want to be on the pill). But, this is to say, when a condom is taken out of the equation, a certain emotional barrier is removed along with the physical, and a statement of trust is issued.
For those of you who aren’t like my “horny health gambling let’s just go raw dog on night one with a completely random woman” buddies, do you feel there is an emotional component to the removal of condoms from the equation in your intimate relationships?